ON THE ROAD TO LANG SON
THE DELUX BOAT OVERNIGHT BOAT TRIP
The day started off ok, same as Seattle, grey and hazy, not rainy grey, just hazy grey, fine distinction here. Important for a photographer as one or the other means loss of speed for exposures etc. I had gotten a good night sleep, and as I was supposed to meet up with my booking guy at 10:30am, I had time to run to the local store in lay a few goodies for the trip. I had thought a lot about what I might take in the way of extras regarding food etc. and as they were going to put on a pretty good feed I realized I wouldn’t need all that much nor did I wish to have to carry any more then I had to. I have to take a lot of equipment anyway: a large camera bag, a laptop to down load the compact flash memory, some clothes, …you get the idea, a load of ‘necessary’ junk. So at the store, I settled on a bottle of wine, merlot, white wine isn’t to my liking, and yea, I knew we’d be having fish etc, but I am a red wine guy. The wine was from France and set me back a whopping $10, which I was planning on drinking either before dinner or after. It seemed like a good idea, that’s the way we do boat trips in Seattle anyway. I also picked up some Vietnamese beef jerky, hot and spicy which I have taken a liking to, which is nothing like the American version, and 2 liters of water, just in case. I went to the public market and picked out a couple apples, oranges and one nice mango…had a good time with the lady bartering the price down, and eventually got my price. This meager food supply was to later prove to be a very fortuitous acquisition on my part.
Went back to the hotel, still had about an hour or so to kill, made sure all my batteries were charged, and went through all the necessary stuff I needed as it seems these days I am constantly leaving some crucial item one place or another. I debated a long time as to if I wanted to lug my tripod alone, but decided that I would be on board a smallish boat for the most part, and we all know that boats move, so a tri pod set up on the boat would also move as the boat did, so it just didn’t make any sense to take it and finally decided to leave it. With about an hour to spare, I decide to head out. I was staying in the Hon Gai section of Halong City, separated from the Bai Chay section by a small channel which you need to board a ferry and pay 2,000vnd to cross. They run constantly, but thought I better get across with plenty of time to spare. I loaded up my bike and was sitting on it, just about to take off when a moto bike taxi guy pointed out to me that my rear tire was just about flat….crap, ok, so I thought about it, and he pointed to a guy a 100 meter away and made the up and down motions of pumping, as in just putting some air into the tire, but I realized that I need to get the damn tire changed because if I didn’t then when I got back from the boat trip, my bike would have a flat and that wasn’t a good thing as it would be parked in a hotel parking lot far away from any repair facility. I remember that I had seen a Honda dealership about a kilometer up the road, checking the tire and seeing I had about an inch and half of left before I was on the rims, I decided to make a run for the dealership. Made it and then stood around while they change the tire and put in a new tube, clock ticking and had a ½ hour to make the ferry 4km away when I paid the bill, about $3. Something kept nagging at me as I sped away, but it’s always like that when I am rushing, a constant feeling like I forgot something important. On the way to ferry, some jerk was laying on his horn behind me, but like a good Vietnamese driver I paid no mind to it as barreled top speed towards the ferry and my rendezvous with my deluxe over night cruise of the fabled Halong Bay. Pulled up to the ferry, and instead of buying a ticket, I just headed straight away towards the ticket taker, who allows you in to the gated area where you wait for the ferry. I have taking to have the exact amount of the ferry charges folded in one hand, and by-passing the always crowded ticket sellers booth, and palming the cash directly into the gate keepers hand who them, slick as butter, deposit the money into some hidden pocket etc, thus supplementing their meager income. Doing my little bit to help out the little guy who at the end of the day must have a fist full of 2000vnd notes. Behind me I could still hear the guy blaring his horn, and once inside the enclosure I noted that I was getting an abnormal amount of attention, ….people were pointing at me and then motioning me to look behind me, so like an idiot I turned and looked, and at the gate, there stood one the Honda guys from the dealership, all grimy with grease smears, with a huge smile on his face and holding my laptop.
Ehhh, so that was the nag, remembering now that I had set it down while I watched my bike being fixed, …I pulled out a 50,000vnd note, and tucked it into the pocket of his overalls as I took the computer. That 50,000 note most likely represented 6 to 10% of his monthly wage, not bad for a 4km ride. Once again impressed with the honesty of the regular guys in Vietnam, and the pains they take to run me down to give me back things I have mislaid. Dodged a big bullet there I was thinking while riding the ferry across, it would have been a huge disaster to have lost my laptop.
I made my appointment on time and we arrived at the ‘tourist dock’ where the ‘cattle’ queued for the daily boat trips. Quite busy and very hectic and even more unorganized than I would have imagined, but this is what I learned. The order of importance of people involved with these tours is as follows:
1) Person representing those that own the boats:
Boat owners are seldom present, but their representatives are there and this is who my booking agent made his reservation with. Owners often own more then just one boat.
2) The tour guide:
Determined by some manner I am not familiar with, but the best I could understand is they come on the bus from Hanoi, where all the tours seem to originate, and once the boat is underway, they are the top dog. They are usually the only person on board who can speak both the language of the majority of passengers and Vietnamese thus they are the link between the boat crew and the tourists.
3) The boat captain:
Along with his crew, which numbered about 5 on our boat they do little except steer the boat, keep it afloat and do as they are instructed by the tour guide. They also prepare the food, at meal times.
4) The ‘cattle’:
Of which I was one and sometimes referred to as the paying customer, or tourist. We will see that not only are we the cattle, but we are all cows, and should not think we are bulls, as that position is reserved for the tour guide. If you are familiar with cows then you know the bulls are the dominant member of the bovine family. So kindly check your horns before you book one of these tours.
5) Booking agents:
In so far as the actual tour is concerned, they have absolutely no power, but they have an implied power as they are responsible for directing business to the first person on this list. So while they actually have no say regarding the tour, the owners are extremely careful to make sure their booking agents are kept happy, other wise they end up with empty boats.
I was the first to arrive, of my group and eventually was led to that boat I would be on, after an indeterminate wait on the dock which served no purpose other then to produce copious amounts of sweat as I and my booking agent stood around in the heat awaiting the number 1 person to come and take us to our my boat. We were suppose to leave at noon, sharp, and it was almost noon, and eventually I was led to the boat, along with my booking agent, who was determined to get me the cabin of choice, but when we got there, we were not allowed to get a cabin, as there was confusion as to the rest of guests, and if they would be splitting up into 1’s or 2’s thus requiring more single cabins or what ever. We stood around again for another 30 minutes or so and for what ever the reason, the other passengers never showed, so I was then led to another boat, where a repeat of the above happened all over again. By now, the copious amount of sweat had turned to rivers, and I was getting a bit cranky, and believe me, those who know me, know it’s not a walk in the park to be around me when I am in that state.
Normally I can handle just about any, and everything I come into contact with here in Vietnam without losing what little cool I possess, but all the while this was going on, the thought kept running through my mind is I ought to bail on this. It was now about 1pm, been jerking around on the dock, one boat or another and yet to be assigned either a boat or a cabin, and finally I turned to the booking agent and announced that I have had enough. If the heat wasn’t going to kill me, then there was a good chance the ocean of sweat I standing in was going to drown me. I demanded my passport back, at the moment being held by the #1 person, a sort of overweight narrow eyed Vietnamese woman, with a tight smile and fat butt. I announced I was bailing on the trip: breach of contract, boat suppose to leave at 12, now 1pm …I tried to say this in a stuffy British accent, but I was close to heat stroke so maybe it just sounded like a duck or something, but they got the message. This produced a flurry of barking Vietnamese exchanges between the #5 and #1 person, and then I allowed myself to be placated as I was led back to the original boat and given a cabin, which I took a cursory glance at as I deposited my items. All I wanted to do was to change into just my underwear and then find someplace cool, but I settled on shorts and a tee shirt, and as I changed I wondered which was going to blow its cork first, me or the wine.
Coming out of my deluxe oven of a cabin, I saw that other people had come aboard, all Asian, except for one westerner. Well so much for a boat load of Europeans, and in fact, so much for big group as we numbed in total, just 5, not counting the Vietnamese guide who had also come aboard and promptly disappeared. The passengers all introduced themselves: there was a young couple, Jason and Bianke from Korea; a young man of Japanese ancestry who was born in England and still resided there traveling with another Englishman who taught English in Bangkok. Sorry guys, I can’t remember your names. The boat rapidly departed soon there after. I went back into my cabin to get my camera, and as I passed through the dinning area the Korean couple and I struck up a conversation and they invited me to sit with them in a booth. We started to chat, as we did, activity started as the crew prepared the lunch. Shortly Captain Bligh appeared, no not the captain, but our tourist guide, and without so much as a hello, ‘ordered’ the five of us to come sit all together in one booth, to eat our lunch…..anyone that knows me knows that it is not a good idea to ‘order’ me to do anything, and especially not a good idea to do so when I’m a bit cranky, and a downright disaster to do so if I am both a bit cranky and hot and sweaty as a pig.
The idea of cramming 5 fairly large, hot, and sweaty people all together in a small booth didn’t go over well with any of us. Westerners do not like being forced to sit closely together with strangers when they dine, especially when said strangers are sweaty, sticky, and hot. The two English wished to eat alone, and said so. I was willing to eat with the Jason and Bianke in order to continue our conversation and we said we three would dine together. We told the guide to set two tables, one for 2 and one for 3, and much to my surprise, the guide refused, while again ordering us to come to booth 1 and eat.
I really wasn’t paying much attention to him prior to this, but hearing him, sounding more strident then when he first ordered us, I perked up and looked him over. Didn’t like what I saw….registering a guy having a bad day, and making no attempt to mask it. I can read the Vietnamese pretty well by now, and can generally tell by body language what sort of mood they are in, and this one was off the scale, for what ever the reason, but he had no business taking it out on us.
Dud….., tourist guide, number one rule in the west, neither Americans nor Englishmen take to being ordered about very well, in fact it is the worst way to get them to do something you wish. The Korean couple didn’t seem to take to it well either and we again refused to be ordered into the booth. We asked that two tables be set, one for 2, and one for 3, and were flatly told no. Captain Bligh announced in no uncertain terms that the tour could not be broken up. This didn’t make any sense to me at all and as the oldest, and the only American on board, and knowing the inflated view we Americans have of ourselves and our supposed rights as ‘guaranteed’ by virtue of being born American, I decided to tell this jerk that there was no way he was going to force us into sitting in one booth all together. I didn’t get 5 words out of my mouth before I was interrupted and told to go to the booth!! Not a good thing, and for the moment I was speechless. A damn fine start to my deluxe over night cruise of the fabled Halong Bay, now being witnessed by not just the 4 other passengers, but by the boat captain and the entire crew who had crowded into the dinning cabin to watch the confrontation.
The Vietnamese while hating to be in the center of a confrontation, like nothing better to be able to get in close and watch while people make fools of themselves, and I suspect, they were not disappointed with this one. Finding myself rapidly being backed into a corner of which there was no graceful return from, I was hating it. Our guide must have felt the same, but tough titty said the kitty, I didn’t start this mess. Every once in a while I would glance over at the captain and smile at him, which just seem to infuriate the guide even more, but it was important to me that even though I was having a confrontation with the guide, to show the captain that I had no problem with he or the crew. Ultimately once the guide got tired of repeatedly ordering me, and the other 4 to go sit in the booth and ‘enjoy fine lunch’, who were standing by waiting to see the outcome of this little mutiny, he then said he wanted to talk with me outside. Sure, I said, let’s go outside, and, maybe, one of us could throw the other overboard.
So outside we went, and he just started in again, same old blah, blah, blah……I waited him out till he finally ran down then I told him to either set 2 tables, or take me back to the docks, which were only ½ a mile so behind us. His turn to be speechless, but finally he managed that he would ‘allow’ me to eat alone, but that he wouldn’t separate the rest of the tour. I told him not good enough, and on it went, until finally I just had enough, I wouldn’t eat lunch. Wouldn’t bother me all that much, there has been many times in Vietnam for one reason or another I haven’t eaten and just wasn’t that big a deal. And that is how it finally ended, the other 4 ate together, and I just went outside and took pictures…….on an empty stomach…..so much for principle.
Later I asked for his name, and what company he worked for; he gave me a name and a company which proved to be false, as I knew it would, but I got his picture and I have friends in Hanoi who should be able to identify him eventually.
A fine start for my deluxe cruise of Halong Bay.
THE BOAT, ACCOMODATIONS, AND THE FOOD
The boat didn’t sink, that’s the good part. The bed I slept in was clean and comfortable enough, and the fan worked. The air conditioning unit in my room didn’t work; the shower was a joke, just enough running water to rinse off the salt grime when they allowed the water to be turned on. The door locked to provide security for my possessions, and the sheets appeared clean, though the towels smelled a bit moldy to me. But hey, better moldy then what one of the other guests found when it came time to use her towels. We had stopped at Cat Ba Island and picked up 11 other passengers. The young Israeli couple found when they were going to use their towels a clump of very fresh rat turds deposited by a recent visitor and when shown to the tour guide, he tried to say that they were bird poop. I happened to be present when they brought the towels up. And though I am no rocket expert I know the difference between rat turds and bird poop: conclusion was they were rat turds. This so upset the young lady that she could barely bring herself to enter her room to sleep at night, and when I went to bed late, 12am, her companion was still trying to get her to sleep in the cabin as opposed to sleeping in a chair on the top deck. Speaking of chairs, there were four functional chaise lounge type of chairs, one totally busted up ‘use to be’ chaise lounge type of chair, and three little seven inch stools that the Vietnamese are quite fond of; not bad for a passenger list of 16 people on a deluxe cruise.
The food was situation was classic, so damn inadequate it was comic. As we prepared to anchor for the night, the tour guide came into the main cabin where most of the passengers were congregated and announced that we would be stopping by the floating pens, these pens holding various assortments of sea food and if we wished to ’supplement’ our dinner with more, or, different items, then we could purchase them at our own expense which the cook would cook for us. At this time, the guide and I had reached an uneasy truce; we were just ignoring each other….and it worked. But as I sat at the table with the 2 Englishmen, Jason and Bianke, and a young lady from the Netherlands sharing the bottle of wine I had brought onboard and kicking myself that I hadn’t brought a couple more, I heard two key words in his announcement.
The words, ’supplement’, and ‘more’, and immediately I thought to myself: why he was telling us this? I was looking forward to dinner, for obvious reasons, but I have been around Vietnamese long enough to understand that they don’t say things without a reason, and what I actually heard was that we better buy more food. I asked the group if they all wanted to eat together and they said yes, and I suggested it might be a good idea to take a look and maybe buy some things and have a really nice dinner. This was met with blank looks, as all were expecting a nice dinner anyway, but I said that it might be a good idea, to do this, other wise why would they even be making this stop. So after kicking it around for a few minutes, our group agreed to try and buy a couple kilograms of prawns and crabs, if the price was right. The boat pulled up to the pens and it fell upon me to negotiate a price ….they wanted $15 a kilo for the prawns, same for the crabs. I knew the price in Halong Bay for both items, about $10. I offered$ 7, of course it was refused, we negotiated a bit more, but the lady held firm on $15, and finally I said no and was about to re-board the boat when she came down to 14, I went to $10 and she sold at $11, but am sure we only got 800 grams each as opposed to the 1000 grams we were supposed to be getting. Ok, so we were the only ones to buy any food, and I think the rest of the passengers thought our table was nuts, but then we were the only ones drinking wine, and the only table with an old American guy who had a lot of experience with Vietnamese nuance.
Dinner time came, and we bought 2 more bottles of wine from the ship, price was reasonable, $11 a bottle, quality was dubious, but what the hell, it was drinkable. I think our table was about the only table that wasn’t out and out ‘backpackers’, but not certain, but in any event, our over all expense was being divided 6 ways so it mattered little to us in the end. By the time dinner was brought, we were having a good time; alcohol always helps in that regard and I didn’t take notice of the food as in the quantity, as our table had more than enough with the addition of 4 pounds of crabs and prawns and 3 bottles of wine. We were sitting in the next to last booth, and sat facing the other two booths, and I took little notice that the other occupants kept glancing over at us, just assuming we were having a little too good of time….but hey, alcohol helps. It was only later when the big young guy from Michigan came to our table and asked if he could have one of our prawns that I perked up. And as dinner was ending I noticed him going to the captains table directly behind our table and overheard him asking if he could have their left over food they that I then thought about the dinner.
Later on the top deck, it was determined that the other tables had had very little food, one small fish, about a pound or so, a plate of factory French fries, some rice, one plate of spinach type vegetable, and a couple over fried spring rolls cut into 6 portions. Anything you wanted to drink and didn’t bring was extra; very inadequate after an afternoon of swimming and kayaking. Our table had gotten the same amount of food, but with the addition of what we had bought, and the wine, we had had a merry feast, much to envy of the others. When the others asked the guide why there wasn’t more food, he retorted that he had made the announcement that if they had wanted extra food, then they should have bought some, as we had. What the hell can you say to that response!!!! There was a hell of a lot of grumbling on the top deck that night.
Morning came and after a long wait, the call to breakfast was made. With anticipation for a good breakfast, you can imagine the shock that rocked the dinning cabin when it was discovered that breakfast would consist of about 14 slices of a ‘wonder’ type white bread, with 6 slices of an orange, about an ½ ounce of a terrible strawberry jam, and about a ½ cup each of insipid coffee for every table. 
It was so terrible, that the group was in utter disbelief which disintegrated to out and out ‘ridiculing’ laughter and anger at the way we were being treated. I went and got my camera, photographed the breakfast at our table, amidst cheers, and then went and photographed the remains of the crews and guides breakfast: big bowls of noodle soup. 
I asked the captain for some of his soup, and he was actually going to give me some when the guide told him not to. Jason and Bianke had gotten up, and had went to asked for some boiling water and had retreated to their cabin, and then proceeded to miraculously produce some kim chee, and enough instant noodle soup to feed our table and the table with the big American with something hot.
Well hell I could go on, but what’s the point.
Ok, so what about the good parts of my trip?
Well the bay is visually outstanding. And I did get some great pictures. But the best part of my trip was the profound kindness shown to me by Jason and Bianke, who actually were, more or less, on their honeymoon. I did get a major refund on my trip from the booking agent at the Saigon-Halong hotel when I arrived back, so the amount I paid was about $38. I did get a funny story out it all, but this trip reinforced my resolve to avoid, no matter what the cost, all tours. I finally spent some time up close and personal with a group of people who take these sorts of tours. I finally saw Halong Bay, but from a photographer’s point of view, while I did get some very good images, it was as I imagined, and extremely inadequate as opposed to how I might have organized such a trip. The only other choices are to book a boat alone, which is cost prohibited, attempt to break through the government monopoly on hiring a boat yourself outside of normal channels, or endure one sort or another variation on the type of tour I was on.
I called my old friend back in Hanoi, Tuan, a long time tour guide, and we talked about my experiences. He asked me not to put this story on my site, as it would destroy the Halong Bay business, and I tried to explain that my one little trip, nor my one little site could accomplish that. But as I stated earlier in this posting, the Vietnamese are horribly afraid of bad publicity, and fear anything that gets out to the world that criticizes the way things are here. Tuan told me that my trip was just a result of a bad boat etc, and exception, and maybe that is true or maybe not,….but ultimately if I were going to take this trip again, regardless of how much or how little I might spend I would follow these guide lines.
1) I would demand to know exactly what I could expect in the way of accommodations, food and activities for the amount I was paying.
2) I would bring 2 bottles of wine at least, knowing you can usually buy some on board, but I would buy in advance in order to get quality I wanted. And I would bring wine as there is just something nice about wine and boating.
3) I would bring some additional food with me: salt water, activities and the general ambiance of fresh air just increases the appetite. While major food requirements might be taken care of, and true no one will starve on an over night trip, having snack food is a plus. Remember though, that you will be meeting new friends and most likely be inclined to share the items you might bring.
4) I would bring an ample supply of fresh water to drink, as it doesn’t appear that water is ever included for free, and it’s nice to make sure you have all you wish.
5) Very little in the way of clothing is needed, beyond shorts, tee-shirts, and bathing suits.
6) If I was spending a lot of money, and anything over $30 is considered a lot, I would make sure I had recourse for a refund if things did not meet what I had been promised.
7) As my friend Tuan suggested, I would book from a big tour operator, with much experience, and I would expect to pay about $75 dollars or so for a deluxe overnight trip originating in Hanoi.
7) And last, at the beginning of the trip, I would get both the name of the guide and the tour agency he worked for, while I was still on very good terms, this is important. A guide can lose his job over a disastrous trip, hence having this information, and he knowing you has it, will make him work harder to make things go right. If things go south, it is impossible to get this information, as he knows what will happen if he gives it out.
Halong Bay is a beautiful place, and if you like rocks in the water landscapes, and slow boat experiences, you will like it. But there are other places in Vietnam with these sorts of rock formations; just not in the water, and they are as beautiful and stunning as the water versions, and far less crowds converge there to appreciate them. One such place is in the Cao Bang Province, a rather remote northern province, well worth a trip to see, and one of the most beautiful provinces of Vietnam.
And that’s the story of my one, only and most likely last, official guided tour in Vietnam.
